When the Dating Game becomes the Waiting Game

How long should you wait for him to show interest? Don’t let the slew of online bloggers and “armchair psychologists” fool you with pre-determined relationship time tables. All relationships are different. The question really is does this relationship feel worth the wait to you? Remember that not too long ago some of our grandparents waited 2 or more years for their beaus to come home from war before they could settle down or marry, and when it comes to love and relationships people make connections that beat the odds every day.

So if you are among the independent modern gals growing frustrated with the waiting game, here are some pointers to consider:

What signs of progress exist in this relationship?

Take a look at the big picture.

  • Is he prioritizing your relationship in a way that seems appropriate even if he isn’t at your pace? For instance he has small kids and you don’t his ability to commit time and energy will naturally be different than yours.
  • Also examine whether a casual pace or nonchalant attitude are his M.O. in other relationships as well.
  • Is his approach to life generally cautious and gradual, or is he racing in to everything except commitment with you?

Ways to Make Waiting Work for You.
While you are getting to know him, get to know yourself. This has two benefits. First you can enjoy living it up and exploring interests or hobbies that don’t get your attention when you are focusing on love and relationships, so you win. Secondly, while you are engaging in these interests and hobbies you are building mystique and adding to the repertoire of fascinating things about you that he will eventually be attracted to, or not. Either way you win, because having an active and satisfying life makes you attractive to others and helps discover the relationship that will fit in with your lifestyle. By investing in yourself you are creating interest….you could say “earning interest”, giving the two of you more to talk about and giving him time to miss you and even pursue you.
This is a fine line however as you want to maintain enough connection to show him your interest in him, but also plan on being busy just enough to build up intrigue and interest. A critical mistake many women make is becoming too readily available, offsetting the natural “hunting/pursuing” drive that gives men the “thrill of the chase.” If he thinks you are waiting around for him, the ball is in his court and you may end up doing just that….waiting.
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