The Obligatory Valentine’s Day Blog I wasn’t Going to Write

“Wherever, whoever you may be, let the light of your love, shine through the window of my heart..”

The Iveys, Maybe Tomorrow

“Cold hearted orb that rules the night, removes the colors from our sight, red is grey and yellow white but we decide which is right and which is an illusion….”

Moody Blues, Nights in White Satin



This is my third attempt to write a blog in honor of the upcoming celebration of Valentine’s Day. Earlier attempts started with a message in mind but ended up sounding like a hybrid between Charlton Heston’s character in Soylent Green and Judge Judy, and the course of which brought to the mind an image of a cranky woman with a laptop and too many cats.

Missed the mark, I guess.

I was going to give up on writing an Obligatory V-Day blog because my issue with the holiday is the mass marketing societal pressure to be in a relationship and buy stuff under the guise of sustaining said relationship.

My mind was changed today, however as I have had numerous clients recently asking about how they should spend Valentine’s Day.
No, they weren’t asking where to go for a date or what to do with their partner, they were panicking over how to spend the 24 hour period of time during which they expect to be completely bombarded by non-stop reminders that candy, jewelry and other gifts are synonymous with love and if one does not have someone to lavish the spoils of capitalism upon, then it is to be deduced that one is failing at life.


And when the last caller, a woman who was struggling to accept that a relationship she had been struggling to hold together to avoid the stigma of being alone and the fear of starting over finally came to terms with the difficult message she was being given- that the person she had been expecting to fit the ideal she had spent years projecting onto a relationship was not going to become the person she had wanted him to be, she giggled nervously to hide some deeper desperation and asked- “what should I do on Valentine’s Day?”

And that was it.

Obligatory or not, slightly harsh or not, no matter how many times I have to listen to The Incredible String Band and edit, I will write an Obligatory Valentine’s Day Blog.

I don’t dislike the holiday, but just want to remind us that like any other holiday, it is a 24 hour period of time that will be what we make of it.

Whether you have a good or bad Valentine’s Day, or Ash Wednesday, or random Monday, is largely up to you. But in case you are feeling stuck, confused, angry, jealous, lonely, if you are frustrated with an existing relationship, sad because you don’t have a special relationship, or just plain tired of being sold propaganda about love and relationships and what every kiss begins with, here are a few suggestions.

  1. Act lovingly. No assembly required, batteries not included, no experience necessary, if-you-can’t-be-with-the-one-you-love-love-the-one-you’re-with, monogamous or not, no one has the monopoly on love. Act lovingly toward the people around you. Your family, your neighbor, your friends, your partner, your guides and Ancestors in Spirit, yourself, the person ahead of you in line at Dunkin’ Donuts. Emulate love, celebrate a day to celebrate love not be further exploiting and colonizing those who work diamond mines but by being a loving and compassionate human being.

*And it doesn’t cost a thing.


  1. Be open to receiving. Either through meditation or music, through allowing others to give to you or extend gestures of kindness, align yourself with receiving love from others, from Spirit, from yourself. Let the door be held open, accept help when it is offered, be open to compliments. Free from expectation of what you are getting, when and from whom, be open to receiving the energy of love as it exists all around you because it does. It just doesn’t always show up looking like a stuffed gorilla in boxer shorts.


  1. Celebrate the people you love. You know you’re gonna be on Facebook when the Boss isn’t looking, so why not hit up your friends and love them up? Let the people in your life know how special they are to you and that you are thinking of them. Practice gratitude for the relationships that surround you.


  1. Love Up the Source. Take some time to celebrate your relationship with Spirit and the Spirit world, be open to receiving love from those who guide you, from God/Creator/Goddess/Murphy or whatever you call the Source. Make sure to open yourself to receiving love from this Source as well. And this brings us back to Do, because this is the energy that pours forth when you act lovingly toward others.



  1. Buy a stuffed gorilla in boxer shorts.


  1. Just kidding.


And by the way, I love you.


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