Is It Love?

As a Relationship Psychic I am often asked to weigh in on the potential love power of a new, or troubled relationship. This is one of the most difficult questions to answer intuitively. Not because the information is difficult to access- but because a client’s definition of love may not be the same as that of her partner…

“That is ridiculous!” you may say to yourself….”Love is love- if he loves her he should say it and show it…he should remember her favorite perfume, never leave the seat up, and instantly know what she’s feeling and respond accordingly!”

Of course, you can substitute any of your own preferred “proof of love” signposts but the idea remains the same. We project our own idea of love onto others and expect them to act accordingly….if it really is love, that is!

Pause for a moment and reverse roles…have you ever forgotten something of importance to one you love? Have you ever expressed yourself in a way that hurt another’s feelings, even though you love them? Have you ever been accused of not being expressive enough toward a loved one?

Women who look for proof of love in behaviors based solely on their expectations (how they would treat a loved one) may be missing out on an important point. Relationships involve acceptance of other people including their communication style, level of expressiveness, occasional bouts of forgetfulness, and other normal human flaws.  To illustrate via absurd comparison, imagine the topic was anger, and not love. If another expressed their anger in a way very different from yours, would you deny that person’s feelings of anger? Would you scoff at someone who stifles an angry reaction, letting their temper smolder rather than yelling and screaming, and say “Ha! You’re not really angry, if you were you would punch a hole or two in the wall like a normal person!”?

Probably not.

When love is concerned however, many women look for proof of his feelings based on how they would act….or worse, based on an ideal world view of how they think they act. This can lead to confusion and frustration over interpreting signals from a partner who may be demonstrating love …in their own way.

Consider some lessons from astrology and relationships. Each of the 12 sign of the zodiac are divided into 4 Elemental energies called Quadruplicities.  A person’s chart will show whether their personality is shaped by predominantly Air, Fire, Water, or Earth elements.  This is just one of many factors that influence how a person expresses love.

Air Signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) rely heavily on imagination and visualization and tend to express love verbally or through written word. They tend to intellectualize their feelings.

Fire Signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) are bold, passionate and demonstrative and can express love by acting territorial. They are assertive and may be more inclined toward action rather than talk.

Water Signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) are sensitive and express love through nurturing and showing affection.

Earth Signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) are dependable and practical, often opting to work hard and generously spoil their loved ones, as opposed to getting all lovey-dovey and expressive.

Before assuming that someone is not showing love, consider if they are, in fact, trying to share their feelings in their unique way.

To learn more about how different personality styles express love, sign up for the free series,  Astrology Guide to Love and Romance featuring the 12 Ways to Say I Love You.