Are you a modern woman with “trust issues”?
Take a number!
When did trusting others become so difficult?
Was it the first time someone lied to you, or betrayed you?
Women experience trust issues as a result of numerous disappointments and betrayals throughout life. Naturally, we believe that being guarded is the answer.
This could not be farther from the truth! I observed an interesting phenomenon as a substance abuse counselor. Women (and men) who came in with the biggest defenses up, with the red alert “I TRUST NO ONE” mantra, who would resist any potentially positive connections because of issues with “trust”…..
would inevitably end up connecting with unhealthy people who had predatory energy, in spite of all of their efforts to “guard” themselves through mistrust. I then began to notice that this is not just a phenomenon experienced by people with addictions, it happens to us all. I could even see in my own experience where discretion would completely fail me in spite of my efforts to filter out “untrustworthy” people.
Why does this happen?
When women say “I have trust issues” or “I don’t trust a lot of people” what we are really conveying is that we don’t trust ourselves.
We don’t feel comfortable with our own responsibility to enforce boundaries, use our intuition and navigate our own relationships. Furthermore, we don’t have faith that whatever may unfold in a relationship, we will be able to cope.
We buy into the illusion that we should be perfect, and that challenges in our relationships reflect our inability to keep things under control.
If he was lying, if he cheats, if he sneaks off to the bar when he said he was going to buy Christmas presents for the kids, if he splurges on a shopping trip and maxes out the credit card, if he really doesn’t like your hair do but says he does just to be nice….if he does certain things we can’t control, it must be a horrible fault on our end for having “allowed” that to happen. At least, for not seeing it coming.
The truth is, relationships of all kinds do involve risk, and there is no safeguard. Imagine if people sold “Relationship Insurance” to guarantee compensation in case of disaster? Laughable, right? So why do we expect it?
Because no one wants to be hurt, of course!
Yet there is a trap to all of this. If women wait for the “right” guy who “proves” himself trustworthy, we are taking responsibility for our own intuition and navigation process and leaving it squarely in the hands of another person. This will inevitably fail. Even if he is not a philanderer, serial killer, etc, it will fail because inevitably he will do something that betrays our own expectations.
Feeding yet again into our sense of mistrust. Placing the blame externally.
If we trust ourselves and have faith in the ability to cope with and navigate through relationships, then “trust issues” disappear.
For more information on how to tune in to your attraction power so you can trust yourself again and have the relationships you really desire and deserve, register for the Modern Woman’s Guide to Love Power. Register today and receive a bonus audio on heartbreak healing by Sun Sign and 20 minute phone consultation to explore your personal attraction energy in depth after the workshop. Register here. For more information email firstname.lastname@example.org.