I don’t recall the exact words Media and Writing Coach Linda Lowen said to me this morning as we reviewed preparations for upcoming interviews to promote Queen Up.
It’s not that I wasn’t paying attention, Linda is the kind of person whose advice you want to take in completely.
Rather it was that what she said, or the part I recall now, literally rang in my ears and sent my mind on a detour. We were talking about how inspiration can spring forth from crisis and her wording was perfect but my mind latched on to one word and began to do it’s own thing.
That word was Recovering.
Although it is no secret that a large part of the basis for Queen Up! emerged as part of my recovery from a Mild Traumatic Brain Injury, I had a sudden realization in the midst of Linda’s words that had not occurred to me before.
That although we often think of Recovery as a return to baseline, what often takes place is not Recovery but Uncovering. The prefix “re” implies a return back to something, but for me the journey was not a return to who I was in my previous life. If anything, perhaps it has been a return back to connection with Spirit or some recognition of who I am before being instructed to be who I was before.
Perhaps for many of us the journey to healing serves a similar purpose. We long for a return to what was familiar. To the dreams we thought we would spend our lives accomplishing, the ways we used to identify ourselves, and the ways we wanted others to see us. Yet we find that the attempts to return to the past, to ‘recover’ a Self shattered by trauma or loss, is impossible. We can retrieve aspects of ourselves, but we can’t go home again.
But we can Uncover.
We can Uncover the true Self that was encased in layers of external programming, the shell of which crisis cracks open. We can Uncover our possibilities once the binds of expectations and conditioning are shattered. We can Uncover the other Selves that did not get their chance to emerge as we clung to one vision of who we are. We can Uncover, in the words of Intuitive Mentor and Author Julie MacDonald, “the magnitude of our being.”
And yes I sometimes wish that somethings could be recovered. I miss having the energy to remain mentally sharp for long periods of time. I miss not having headaches. Sometimes it occurs to me that so many of the beautiful people I have come to know in my new life will never know the old me, and that is a sad thought for a moment.
But when all is said and done, I realize the new me has managed to accomplish more than the I could have in my previous life. That even before this diagnosis I was limited in other ways. I have come to love the person that has been uncovered and the places this journey has taken me.
And as the song from that old commercial goes….
we’ve only just begun.