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Candid Conversations- The Gift of Honesty

candid conversations2Recently, a friend offered to introduce me to someone who could help manage some of the tasks necessary to help grow my business. Her friend is an experienced Virtual Assistant and while I welcomed the idea of help with administrative tasks, I also wondered if now was really the right time to add another expense. Self publishing is pricey, and while business is growing it is still a slippery climb. Wanting to be open minded though, I agreed to connect with this young lady.

Early into our very pleasant phone call, she made it known that her plate is currently full although she would like to keep open to working together in the future.

Great! I thought, we are on the same page! My administrative “to-do” list is still pending a transition in process and I would not really have a need for assistance for a few months at least. Relieved, we continued to flow with the energy of the conversation.

After a little more exploration it turned out what each of us was looking for, in the best interest of our personal goals, was not quite what the other was offering at this time. I believe that there is a reason we are brought into contact with others, although it may not always be the reason we think at first. The assistance I will be looking for is well within this woman’s capabilities, but her growth and expansion as a business woman is taking her in a different direction. I have a great deal of respect for this, as well as for the fact that she could honestly tell me this, rather than agreeing to do work that is out of alignment with her goals. I have been on the giving and receiving side of doing work or collaboration not in alignment with my mission and it doesn’t create an open flow of energy.

It creates patronizing energy, and even resentments.

What an amazing thing, to be able to simply be honest and not worry about having to change yourself or your goals to make it fit someone else’s needs.

This woman gave me a gift with her honesty. A gift of freedom to remain open to the situation that will be the right fit for me, as well as the gift of her energy going toward her higher goals without settling out of fear.

Often small business owners feel compelled to take what work they can even if it is out of alignment with their goals. This does not serve the business and ultimately does not serve their clients either.

We both acknowledged being grateful for the ability to have a conversation without an agenda or a sales pitch. In fact we were so much in alignment that as I jotted down the name for this blog (yes I get ideas for blogs as I am talking with people, sorry!) she spoke the same words I had just written “Candid Conversations.”

Imagine how different the world of business- and love- would be if we felt free to openly speak our truth?

If we could say “I think what you have to offer is great but I am heading in a different direction and need to keep focused on my path.”

More importantly, if we could HEAR when someone says “I have a different plan for my life” and understand that it doesn’t mean “you’re not good enough” or “you have to change yourself so I will want to be with you”.

Imagine if we could make business connections by accepting people on the path they are on without the old beliefs that if someone doesn’t want what you are selling it means they don’t “value” you and it is then your job to convince them of your “value” and what they will be missing out on, how horrible their lives would be without your service or product…

Come to think of it, the same assumptions apply to the world of dating, where we assume that a relationship is a measure of our self worth and try to change ourselves or others to fit rather than allowing ourselves and others to freely evolve on our life’s path…

I invite you to welcome candid conversations into your business, life, and relationships, and feel the difference it makes.